Sexy Gone Wrong!

I have come to realize that no matter how many Cosmo's you read or any advice you get to the contrary you cannot try to be sexy. It does not work. You either are or you aren't. Intentionally trying to be sexy always ends up badly!

1. Taking a shower with a guy is sexy right? Well maybe for most of you it is. He's washing your hair one minute. Just like in the movies. Awwww how sweet. Wait were should I put my hands? Oh I know on the rod that holds up the shower curtain now that will be sexy! WRONG pulling down the shower curtain and landing flat on your ass in the tub is not sexy.Yes you have a great view of his piece you normally don't get but trust me he will be laughing his ass off at you. And you will be on your back crying. And child crying is never sexy.

2. When I was in the 8th grade I got a trampoline and a few years later the first slutty girl in high school hooked up with her boyfriend on it and I always wanted to do something like that....well my fully grown up ass finally got they chance. "Oh hey I wanna show you something".....so i get on the trampoline and crawl towards him on all fours sexy (in my mind anyways) and cat like....yeah till I hit the big ass rip that I didn't see because it was dark and fall threw the canvas and hit my shin on the support beam....again he is laughing and I am crying....see a pattern?

3. Note to the guys...Before you try that new sexy move on your lady think about what could go wrong! I was laying on the bed watching a movie and Rico Suave lifts my right leg and puts it on his shoulder and thinks he is going to be smooth and tickle the back of my leg... sounds sexy enough right....WRONG....He didn't know I was ticklish and in desperate need of a pedicure. Bad combination, when he touched me leg I roundhouse kicked him to the face and scratched him with my over grown toenail! This time he wants to cry and I am laughing.


Moral to the story kids trying to be sexy is bad for your health!