A way to a man's heart is through his stomach

Now I am not one to brag about my culinary skills but there are a few things that I fix that taste mighty fine. (as long as I can use my George Forman, kinda limiting) But a trick that I would like to share with you ladies is what he does not know does not hurt him.

Mariah just so happens to be a fabulous cook, my mother is one also. So after I had been seeing lets call him Jimmy. (who was in one of those religions that didn't have any holidays and got mad when I bought him a birthday present but that is a whole different story entirely). Now up until this time I had never met a man that I felt the need to cook for. So I get the grand idea to cook for this man. So I ask him what is his favorite meal. Well he gives me a 7 course menu. Which if I was smart I woulda just stopped him right there, but I was a lil dickmatized so I take on the challenge. Well I did not know how to make a damn thing on the menu. So I had my mom make the meatloaf and banana pudding. Had Mariah make three different side dishes. I went to the grocery store and bought already made mashed potatoes, salad, and a bottle of wine. I borrow some fancy dishes and matching silverware got rid of any evidence that might suggest that I did not prepare this wondrous feast and get my man over to the house. And as far as I know he was never the wiser. He thought my pretty lil ass whipped him up all that shit. HAHAHA. I barely lifted a finger and got something real nice in return. Repeat after me ladies what he does not know will not hurt him!


I would also like to let ya'll in on a little sandwich recipe I used to make for my best guy friend all the time before he moved and just let me tell you that he will love me forever for it.

Bret's Supa Dupa Kalupa
Put a lot of mayo on each slice of bread
get some ham and turkey put one on each side
add some salt and pepper
stick a piece of cheese in the middle and smash all that shit together
if he is a good boy you may add some bacon
add some chips, fruit snacks and his drink of choice and he will love you forever!